I had called it quits.
I was done.
I was ready to move on with my life. Without my husband.
I can do this single mom thing. I have no desire to save this marriage. I am tired of being hurt. I deserve to be happy. I’m done.
So I left. I moved out. And took our children with me.
Goodbye and good riddance!
My husband’s heart wasn’t safe with me fourteen years ago. I wish I could say it was. More times than I care to admit, I broke it, stomped on it, abandoned it, crushed it, and spit on it.
I was never the wife to inspire trust in my husband. I imagine for a good part of our marriage, Bill wondered when I’d threaten to leave again.
Well, I did it this time. I have my own apartment, and the kids and I will begin a new life. I am free. I can finally breathe. Yet, why am I feeling even more miserable?
Twenty four hours later, I was calling my husband, saying I made a mistake. The kids and I needed to come back home. God was changing my heart… and quickly. That was the final time I ever said the words, “I want to leave.”
God saved our marriage. Pure and simple.
It was work, repairing the damage that we had done to each other’s hearts. We didn’t just bandage our hurts, we worked at healing them. We gave each other room to grow. And unbelievably, we began to fall in love with each other again.
I began then to pray daily for God to mold me into the wife He wants me to be. There are still days, however, I’m cranky, unloving, selfish, disrespectful, you name it.
Some days I wouldn’t want to be married to me.
But despite those days, my husband knows his heart is now safe with me. We trust each other wholeheartedly. God has brought us a long way.
I’ve learned much this year in BSF, but one incredibly impacting thing I’ve learned and applied to our marriage:
Do what I can to help Bill glorify God in every area of his life.
This puts an eternal perspective on our marriage and my role as his wife. I cannot tell you how much it has impacted our relationship! And if our husbands glorify God through their lives, they will truly have every good thing.
I thank God for saving our marriage! Bill and I will be celebrating our 22nd wedding anniversary in August.
Use this Proverb as a prayer:
“Heavenly Father, equip me to be the wife you desire me to be. Help me to inspire trust with my husband, and may his heart be safe with me. Equip me to help my husband glorify You in every area of his life, and in doing so, may he have every good thing. Amen.”
Wives, and soon-to-be wives, I am lifting you in prayer today. God bless you as you help your husband’s heart to be safe. (I’d love to read your comments below!)
Julie
I am linking up with my friend Meredith and a few others for this Woman to Woman Wednesday at 4hisgloryblog.com.
(Scripture from The Voice Bible translation.)
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Praise God for saved marriages! Julie, I’ve said the same thing before. In the beginning after the new wore off and I wondered what in the world I had just done. I’m more committed than I’ve ever been to anything or anyone today and that’s only through my relationship with Christ. We still have bumps, but I know I can trust him and he can trust me and that’s a lot further than we were at one point. 😉 Thank you so much for sharing from such a personal place and for linking up today. So appreciate your heart!
Meredith, thank you for your sharing some of your story here as well. Yes, I too praise God for saved marriages! It’s scary to think where I’d be today if I hadn’t let God do His work in my heart toward my husband. I shutter to think of it. Thank you also for hosting the link! Love your button too. Will add it next week! Much love to you today!
Wow, just wow! What a lesson! “Do what I can to help my husband glorify God in every area of his life.” Thank you for opening yourself up and for your wise words!
Ellen, thank you. Those words truly changed our marriage this year. I knew I needed to share it in a post. This one was the one. I believe God uses the things we go through to help others. I pray other marriages are given hope by how God has blessed ours. Thank you for being here today!
Beautiful, Julie! Thank you for being so honest in this post. It truly speaks volumes to anyone who is struggling in their marriage (and we all do) that there is hope! God can do great and mighty things. I’m so blessed to read this today.
Hi Abby! Thank you for your words. I pray just one marriage would benefit from our story of hope, and how God saved our marriage. Really though, He saves it every day. I can’t imagine live without Him. Can you? I loved your post today. Thank you for all you do!
What a beautiful testimony! I pray that my husband knows that his heart is safe with me. You will definitely bless many marriages with your story and your love for God and your husband. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Kasey! Thank you for your words of blessing and encouragement! I pray God uses our story to encourage others in their marriages. I’m sure this won’t be the last I’ll be prompted to write about it. It’s been fun to share this writing journey with you!
Julie- Thank you for your honesty and pointing us to Christ. Great word sister!
Katie, thanks for stopping by. My heart is burdened for struggling marriages. Christ is our only hope! Thanks for your encouragement. Blessings to you today!
Julie, what a beautiful message of God’s grace and power! So thankful for your transparent heart and willingness to share a difficult time in your life to show how God can work through really tough times to bring restoration. “Some days I wouldn’t want to be married to me.” — For Sure!
Thank you, Sabra. That was such a tough time in our lives, but God never stopped being loving and faithful. I’m thankful He had the final say! I appreciate your encouraging words today. God bless you, sister!