Ever catch yourself in the act of comparing yourself to another?
Friend, I’ll be straight up with you. I can’t begin to describe the battle that has waged within me over the years regarding comparing myself to others. And, the thing I compare the most are my thighs. Yes, it’s silly, I know. Why my thighs? Well, it’s the physical part of my body I like the least. It’s the one part of me I’m most conscious about.
I’d love to have skinny thighs. I’ve always envied women who have them. Ask me about women t.v. stars and musicians. I may not be able to tell you their eye color or hairstyle, but I’ll probably be able to tell you about their thighs. Don’t we tend to notice in others the things we don’t like in ourselves?
But, God gave me thighs that are more muscular, and I guess a woman who has been active in sports all her life might need muscular thighs. Right? Consciously, I know that. Yes. I get that I should be thankful that these thighs help me to do so much, especially ride our tandem bicycle with my husband. But still, I struggle. Still, I have to continuously fight the urge of comparing.
Comparing ourselves prevents us from living a real life.
Comparing ourselves is never a wise idea. I don’t believe we intentionally set out to do it, and maybe women struggle with it more then men. But, there’s another side to this damaging activity. When we compare ourselves to another, and decide in our own opinion what we have is better, we elevate ourselves in our mind above that person. If I compare my thighs to your thighs, and I like mine better, I have just elevated myself over you. That’s never a good thing to do. When we engage in comparing ourselves to another, we either devalue or overvalue who we are.
And, the standard we use is our own, flawed standard.
For we would never dare to compare ourselves with people who have based their worth on self-commendation. They check themselves against and compare themselves with one another. It just shows that they don’t have any sense! 2 Corinthians 10:12 VOICE
This is just plain silliness!
So, what do we do? How do we tackle this issue of comparing ourselves for those of us who struggle with it? I suggest four things.
4 Ways to Stop Comparing Ourselves
1) Pray. Pray for God’s help in opening our eyes to see how special and unique He made each one of us.
2) Compliment instead of compare. When tempted to compare yourself to another, give a honest, authentic, verbal compliment to the person instead.
3) Make a list. If what you’re comparing is, in your mind, something you lack, make a list of all the good that particular something does/is. For example, my list would be about all my muscular thighs allow me to do, and how unique they are. Then thank God for each.
4) Be about building up. Every chance we can, let’s be about building others up, not tearing them or ourselves down. Let’s be the change we want to see.
The only standards we can compare ourselves to are God’s as He continually molds us and shapes us into who He desires us to be.
We are living real today, aren’t we? Thanks for joining me as we continue our journey in 31 Days of Living a Real Life. I’d love to hear from you on this subject below. Feel free to share your experience. Your words might just be the ones that build another up today.
Bless you!
Julie
It’s Day 5 of our 31 Days of Living a Real Life. You can read the previous posts here.
Photo credit: @zachcaptures
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Wow! So often I think of comparison in terms of what I like better about the other person. I never thought of the times I liked myself better, and subconsciously “elevated” myself. I definitely have to be more thoughtful going forward.
I’m with you. I’ve done that more than I care to admit. God continues to mold us and shape us as we journey together… so thankful!
It’s been my naturally curly hair…..all my life! Compare, compare, compare and come up short! It’s only been in the past few years that I’ve come to the realization that no one but me cares about my hair! All those years of hair cares all for nothing but to drag me down! The compare game has no winner for sure! Keep this wonderful wisdom coming!!! Cindy
Isn’t that something… I’d love to have curly hair. We always want what we don’t have, don’t we? And yes, comparing drags us down. It does us no good. Glad you’re embracing your curls now. I appreciate you sharing a piece of your story here, Cindy! Bless you!
I think as I have gotten older…..after age 45. I suddenly realized that by comparing myself to other’s was waiting time I could be praying or ministering. We are God’s chosen. All that matter’s ultimately is that he loves us. This revelation has made me peaceful beyond measure with myself. I so wish everyone would understand this. Hard on relationships.
Teresa, this is so wise. I’m glad you shared it. Yes, what if we focused on praying and ministering instead of being consumed in comparing. That’s powerful! That changes my perspective to a more productive one. Thank you!