Who I Am

I think it’s good to “pause on purpose” every now and then, and to take a good look at our lives individually. I’ve had the chance to do that these last few days, as I’ve taken some time off from my normal routine. It’s been very timely for me to do so.

I’ve taken a hard look at who I am, and also who I’m not. I’ve looked at who I am in God’s eyes, and who I am in mine. Also who I am in my family’s eyes and who I am to others in my life. The most important one I need to be concerned about is who I am in God’s eyes.

I know I’m not perfect. God’s Word says we all fall short of the glory of God, and none of us are without sin. I have my imperfections, my struggles, my faults and failures. Sin is sin in God’s eyes…it really doesn’t matter what sin it is…it’s sin. But despite my failures, I have a God that loves me and wants the best for me. I have a God who sent His only Son to die an excruitiating death on a cross for me. I know where my security lies and where I’ll be spending eternity, becasue Jesus died for little ol’ me. I know when I confess my sin and struggles to Him, He forgives me and wants me to be whole again. I know God has a plan for my life…a plan that He will fulfill in my life. I know I don’t have to be in control of my life…God is in control of it. I just need to be obedient to what He’s calling me to do. I have everything I need in Him and I am cherished in His eyes. It was good to be reminded of that these last few days!

When I look at my life, I’m thankful. I’m thankful for the gifts God has placed in me to be used to glorify Him. I am thankful that I have the privilege of being a wife, a mother, a sister, a woman and a friend. I am thankful I get to serve God in so many capacities. I am thankful for the many opportunities I get to show God’s love to others.

I also know God made me to be ME. Not to be someone else. He wired me the way He wired me. I have strengths and weaknesses. He has changed me from the person I used to be, and He continues to mold me into who He eventually wants me to become. I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not. I can fully be who I am. I’m so thankful for that too.

So, maybe I’ve finally realized that it’s ok that I don’t want to run in a “rat race” all my life. It’s ok for me to focus on living a balanced life in Jesus. It’s ok to be a stricter mom than other moms to teach and train and guide my children. It’s ok to love the things I love…like my coffee throughout the day. It’s ok to take a 20-30 minute nap in the recliner after a full day before making dinner. It’s ok to desire to be home more, and not “on the go” so much. It’s ok to enjoy an hour massage. It’s ok to pamper myself practically with my Mary Kay products and share them with others. It’s ok to live “in the country,” when most everyone else I know lives in the city. It’s ok to enjoy working out one day, and dislike it just as much the next. It’s ok for me to thoroughly enjoy nacho cheese Doritos by the handful. 🙂 It’s ok for me to be who I am.

As I continue to walk this journey out with God, I will continue to trust Him. I want to let Him lead, and I will focus on following, and not try it the other way around. This time spent with Him these last few days have been much needed and very refreshing. I continue to pray for His will, and not my own as I resume my “normal” schedule tomorrow. And I will continue to remind myself truly who I am.