Last evening, after a long day of working, it felt good to come home and relax with my family. I ate a late dinner with Bill (everyone had already eaten), caught up with him in conversation, and spent some time loving on Ali and Zach.
A little while later, I was getting ready for bed when Ali came in to start her shower…she looked like she had been crying. I asked her, “Sweetie, are you crying?” She responded with a “yes” and explained she was downstairs on our computer and was reading my blog. She read through my previous posts about Jill, and read my sister-in-law, Stacie’s post from yesterday about what Reagan (my four year old niece) said about Grandma Margaret (my Mom and Ali’s Grandma too). Ali began to cry even harder. “I miss them, Mom.” Tears were already filling my eyes at this point. Hugging her, her tears were falling onto my shoulder. “I know, Sweetie. I miss them too,” I then found the words coming out of my mouth…something like “It’s okay to miss them. You’ve sure experienced your share of death at such a young age, but it’s a blessing that we have so many people who love us who will be waiting for us when we get to heaven. Jill and Grandma are in the most amazing place…they wouldn’t want to come back here. Even though we struggle missing them, they are very happy. We’ll get to see them again someday soon…forever!”
The words seemed to help Ali, but nothing can take away the pain of losing and missing a loved one. My heart began to ache for her. My heart began to ache for me. I have really missed Jill this spring, especially at all the soccer games! She was always my sideline buddy at each game! And I have felt the lack of Mom’s presence in my life a whole lot recently…I have wanted and needed her advice so many times in the last couple of weeks. I’ve needed her hugs! Gosh, I miss her so much!
Below is a copy of Stacie’s post from yesterday regarding the conversation she and Reagan had that really touched Ali last night. I thought it would bless you too…it’s amazing what a four year old can think about!
Today, Reagan asked me if there were grass and flowers in Heaven. I said I sure hope there was. Then she asked if you can talk in heaven. I said, I would guess so. Then she said, Good because I want to be able to talk to Grandma Margaret while we are looking at the grass and flowers!
Reagan sure misses her Grandma Margaret. She was almost 2 when she died and every few days Reagan still brings her up in some way. We all miss her deeply but know how proud she is of her grandkids!
I am grateful that Ali had the kind of relationship with her Grandma Margaret and with Jill that allows her to miss them like she does. Even though it’s painful losing and missing them, we have hope because we will one day seem them again! I look forward to that day!!
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