Am I Willing?

Hmmm…I needed to read that this morning! I am somewhere in the middle of believing I can do something and believing I can’t do it. Ever been there?? It’s not a fun place to be…

I used to be so competitive…I worked and practiced and worked and practiced in whatever sport I was in during high school to be the best…to be the best forward and make the most points in basketball, to be the best hurdler–fastest and best form–in track, to be the best pitcher and hitter in softball, and to be the most powerful server and hitter in volleyball. I would not only compete against others to gain a starting position on each team, but I would compete with myself to beat my best (you are learning lots about me here, aren’t you?)! I also always worked hard at my studies and made the Honor Roll each semester too.

I have carried that competitive spirit all throughout my life, which has been good at times, and not so good at times. At one point in my life, I let this spirit get out of control as I worked to be the best in my career, at the expense of sacrificing more important things in my life like my relationship with God, and my relationships with my family.

Since then, after working through much pain and heartache, I have become much more balanced in work, family, relationships, church, and etc. I pulled back the reins and began to appreciate the little things again, which was much needed! 🙂 But I realized over the weekend that I have pulled back the reins so much, that I’m afraid to try to achieve a huge goal again.

Questions have come to me like:

I am feeling like a “fish out of water” on this one! I don’t want to have this goal overtake me and become the most important thing to me, like some goals have in the past. Honestly…I’m terrified that this could happen again! I’m struggling…can you tell?!

Mary Kay has unveiled the new career cars! And very soon we as a family will need another car, as we have a third driver in the family. 🙂 The thought of purchasing another car is NOT appealing to me right now. So, my thinking has been, especially since I’ve seen the new career cars, “Why don’t I earn another one?”

Now I don’t want it to sound like I will need to sign my life over to my work to make this happen…it’ll take more hours than what I’m putting into work now, and it’ll take more focus, more discipline, and obviously more time away from home. I know I have a wonderful opportunity where I can work from home. I know the business God and I have built has been such a blessing to me and my family the last fifteen years. I am convinced there’s nothing else like this opportunity out there in the business world, and I’m very thankful I am a part of this amazing company.

I just need to decide if I’m willing to do what it takes to earn another career car…and I need to have the backing of Bill, Ali and Zach…it’s a family commitment, not just my commitment, because I will need more of their assistance, belief and support. It will be impossible for me to do this without them! We need to have another “family meeting!”

I want to achieve God’s best and highest in my life, but I don’t want to step out and commit to this if it’s not His will for me right now. I will be praying and seeking Him diligently these next few days! As I ponder making this commitment, I will keep you posted. In the meantime, here is the choice of car I would work for…the Chevy Equinox…and it will come in silver.

Ok, I just tore off yesterday’s page on my daily calendar as I’m writing this and here’s the scripture for today… “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” Proverbs 16:3.